Internet Chess Club

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Houston (8)

Thursday, 19 June 2003. [Continued…] Frequently I have to be morbid and think about what death would mean to me:

“There’s a passage in Atlas Shrugged (John Galt’s speech) that makes death, if I am overly concerned about dying before I reach my full potential, look like no big event. If I should die now, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, during the course of plotting my final days of life at sea, then I will embrace death knowing that I died doing what I love most: Learning!”

Ayn (2)

Ayn Rand taught, “All life is a purposeful struggle and your only choice is the choice of a goal.” My choice and my goal is to construct a fiberglass sailboat to live aboard so that I will never need return to the United States of America ever again. I am choosing to leave the USA in order to start over again. I am choosing to rebuild what’s left of my wretched life within a society more open and more free than the USA – if you can believe that’s possible – even if this means I must reconstruct my worldview along Anarchist lines, then so be it: “It might be tough but it ain’t impossible for a dog my age to learn new thought-processing tricks.”

Ayn (1)

Ayn Rand asked, “Do you wish to undertake a struggle that consists of rising from ledge to ledge in a steady ascent to the top, a struggle where the hardships are investments in your future, and the victories bring you irreversibly closer to the world of your moral ideal, and should you die without reaching full sunlight, you will die on a level touched by its rays?” I answered, “Yes!” Once again:

“Now it’s no big secret that I’m planning to defect from the United States of America to Nicaragua when all is said and done. You ask, ‘Is this in protest to something?’ And how! You can’t imprison and torture me for refusing to wed something that doesn’t come close to my moral ideal. You reply, ‘You are a bigot and we will punish you!’ All I can say to take things down a notch is, ‘Hey, make sure you give me a proper burial.’”


The choice for me is whether to marry a ghetto-trash nigger bitch (with kids) or to spend the rest of my life alone (in Alaska). The choice is between choosing a more miserable life (married to a Black woman) than I already have in self-imposed isolation (exile) or being clandestinely put to death (via hepatitis-C and HIV) for not complying with the hopes and wishes of other people: The goal – according to the hopes and wishes of the Black Community – is to make an example out of me: To extract a kind of clandestine capital punishment in accordance with some unwritten secret American anti-miscegenation law:


Stop CRACK! “My eyes haven’t gone blind enough for me not to see that this is all punishment for failing to stay in my place (for failing to keep my self-image low) within the ghetto slum project housing blocks of Washington, DC.”


And, also, “Because I thought myself too good to be a lowly seaman for the US Navy in 2000 – or an organizational level avionics technician for VAQ-209 in 1994 – I now have to spend the rest of my life living like a boatswain’s mate on crystal methamphetamine – which is actually much better than servicing Waste Management garbage trucks in Miami-Dade County, Florida like some desperate crack head.”

Ayn (3)

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